How Do We Measure Spiritual Maturity?

As we dive into the message this morning, I want to ask you a question. I want you to be thinking about this. And here's the question. How do we measure spiritual maturity? We started a series last week, but here's the question.

How do we measure spiritual maturity?

I was driving down the interstate this week, and as so often can happen, you're driving and you just, you're. You get lost in thought. And as I was driving down the interstate, I got lost in thought. My mind was in a lot of different directions, thinking about a lot of different things. Now I drive a pickup truck.

It's got a Hemi engine, and it's got some power, and it will go. And I'm driving down the interstate, completely lost in thought. And I look down at my digital speedometer and don't think bad about your pastor. You might. But I look down at my speedometer, I'm going 115.

I know, I know. You're like, oh, my God, like our pastor's a lunatic.

But then I realized that my finger had somehow hit a setting on my steering wheel that had changed it from miles per hour to kilometers per hour. Thank you, Jesus.

But the thing about spiritual maturity is sometimes we're using the wrong metrics to determine how we're growing in the things of God. Like, we may think, well, you know what? I don't cuss as much as I used to, so I must be spiritually mature now. Or we think, well, you know, I've read the Bible more this year than I did last year. I. I must be spiritually mature.

How do you measure that? We're going to talk about that because it's important that we're using the right metrics when it comes to that. Do we look the same today as we did five years ago? Are we still repeating the same sin cycles that we've been repeating now for year after year after year? If you're just joining us today, if you're watching online, if you're one of our friends who are incarcerated and you're joining via the Pando app, we started a series last Sunday called Mature Audiences Only.

We're talking for several weeks about what is real spiritual maturity. One of the things that I said last week is that spiritual maturity is a journey. It's a process. It doesn't happen overnight. And some people get frustrated.

They grow weary of the process. It's kind of like when somebody starts dieting or they go to the gym and they expect to see results within a couple of weeks or three weeks, and then when they don't, they get mad and they're frustrated and they just stop. They just give up. And people do that spiritually. That's why I said last week that there's an epidemic of spiritual immaturity, especially in the American church.

Spiritual maturity involves long obedience in the same direction. I learned recently that Mount Everest grows taller every year. I never knew that you wouldn't notice it with the naked eye. I mean, we know it's the tallest peak on the planet, 29,029ft, but here's what studies have shown. Mount Everest grows by 0.02 to 0.05 millimeters every year.

That's minuscule. You can't notice it with the naked eye. But here's what one of the co authors of the study says. The growth seems so insignificant, but then you pile it up over the years and you see amazing things happening. That's the way it is with spiritual maturity.

Staying true to the process, understanding what God's word says about maturity, understanding what the refuge says about spiritual maturity and long obedience in the same direction. You might not feel like you're making a lot of progress, but compounded over time, you're going to break those sin cycles that you've been in. You're going to look different next year than you do this year. We're going to go to First Corinthians, chapter three. Here's what the Apostle Paul says to the Corinthian Church, if you will stand to honor the word of God.

Because the Apostle Paul is dealing with some immaturities in the Corinthian Church.

And he addresses this in his letters. And the Apostle Paul says in First Corinthians, chapter three, beginning in verse one, brothers and sisters, in the past I could not talk to you as I talked to spiritual people. I had to talk to you as I would people without the spirit. Babies in Christ. The teaching I gave you was like milk, not solid food, because you were not able to take solid food.

And even now you're not ready. Remember? Now he's talking to people in the church. He's talking to brothers and sisters. That's how he addressed them, brothers and sisters in Christ.

And he's saying, you're using the wrong metrics. You think you're doing great, but the reality is you're still babies. You can't handle me. I had to come to you and give you a bottle. Again, Paul says.

He says in verse three, you're still not spiritual because there is jealousy and quarreling among you. And this shows that you're not spiritual. You're acting like people of the world.

Come on. I'm praying. I'm believing. Yeah. I've heard in my spirit all week long the scripture that says deep calls to deep like the roar of his waterfalls.

And I'm praying for people that I have the privilege of shepherding that'll hear the deep call of God and that'll respond and say, God, it's time to grow up. It's time to go deeper. It's time that I allow you to take me to places that I've not been willing to go in the past. Come on. How many of you are ready?

Come on. Let's make some declarations before you're seated. Everybody together, even those watching online. Here we go. You ready?

Go. I will hide this word in my heart that I might not sin against God. This word is life to my body, health to my bones. I will be a doer of the word and not a hearer. Only that he who has begun a good work in me, in Jesus name, Amen.

Praise God. You can be seated. Listen, I said last week that the choices that you make today will determine the person that you will become tomorrow. One of the challenges that we talked about last week when it comes to spiritual maturity is that most people in the church don't know what the church expects. They don't know what the definition of spiritual maturity really is.

I cited Barna's research, and I said last week that many, many people equate spiritual maturity to just obeying the rules, just keeping the rules. That's so far off from the truth. As a matter of fact, it reminds me of when I first started riding a Harley. I've had a Harley for many years. As a matter of fact, I sold my Harley last month after 15 years with my beautiful baby.

But when I first started riding Harleys, I learned a valuable lesson. And the lesson was this, that when there's something that you want to avoid, you don't focus on that thing. So let's say there's debris in the road. Let's say there's a giant pothole, and our natural inclination is to look at that thing so we can avoid it. And the valuable lesson in riding a motorcycle is you don't look at the thing that you want to avoid.

You look past it to where you want to go.

And so when you're entering a curve, you don't look at the curve. You look beyond the curve to where you want to go, because the motorcycle will go wherever you're focused. You See, if we relegate spiritual maturity to just following the rules, then we're just focused on the thing that we want to avoid, and we're going to end up crashing. What we have to do is focus on where God wants to take us, where do we need to go? And I gave you last week a document that we created in 2020.

I put it in the notes there on the Refuge app. And I'm sure all of you are there now. You're on the app. You've got this week's notes pulled up. If you don't, shame on you.

But here's the thing. That document that our pastors created in 2020, that really defines discipleship. It defines spiritual maturity based on what we believe, based on where we feel like God wants to take us as a church body. I gave that to you last week in the notes. And I said, over the next few weeks, we're going to break down those five characteristics that would define spiritual maturity.

So the first one is this, that a spiritually mature person is constantly seeking ways to die to self. And there's four indications of someone who is dying to themselves. We're going to talk about two of those this morning. The first one is this, that we demonstrate and obey Jesus laws of love. And there's two of those we demonstrate and obey.

That's an indication of someone who's dying to self. They demonstrate and obey Jesus laws of love. And there's two of those. And they're found in Matthew, chapter 22, if you want to go there this morning. Matthew 22, beginning in verse 34, says this.

But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees with his reply. Let me give you a little backstory. The Sadducees approached Jesus and they were trying to trap him with a question that really could not be answered. And they wanted to make him look foolish. And they asked him a question about marriage in heaven, marriage in eternity.

This woman's married to this man. He dies, he's got brothers. And by law the brothers can marry her, or the brother, next brother in line can marry her so that she can have children. Carry on the name. And they're presenting this whole thing saying, well, that guy died, and then there's another brother.

And before he could have kids, he died. And dun dun on down the list. And then there were no brothers left. She had no kids. And they said, who's she married to in eternity?

And they're trying to trap Jesus with that. And Jesus just eradicates their attempt to trap him. And the Sadducees walk away with their tails stuck between their legs. And now the Pharisees are going to take a shot at him. And so they come to him.

They're going to try to make him look foolish. They're going to try the same thing. They're going to try to trap him with a question that really cannot be answered. And here's where it is. Verse 35.

One of them, an expert in religious law, tried to trap him with this question. Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?

They knew no way you can answer that. There was 613 Jewish laws. Think about that. 613 Jewish laws that the Jewish people were expected to know and to obey. Nobody.

There are constant debates among Jewish scholars about, well, how do we categorize these? And which ones are the most important. Nobody could ever answer that question. And they knew Jesus wouldn't be able to answer the question. Master, great Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?

I want you to watch how Jesus replies to that in verse 37. You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. Remember I said there are two laws of love. It here's the second one.

A second is equally important. Love your neighbor as yourself. And then Jesus says this. The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments. He takes 613 complex laws in the Jewish faith and he sums it up two statements that are applicable to us today when it comes to spiritual maturity.

One of the indicators is that we are demonstrating these two laws of love. What are they? Love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul and mind. Secondly, love our neighbor as ourself. Let's look at the first one there.

The first law of love. And we find in verse 37 the Greek word for love, agapeo. It simply means this watch. Doing what the Lord prefers. Did you hear that?

Not what you prefer, but what the Lord prefers. It's a picture of surrendering our hearts to him, not just at salvation, but every single day of our lives that we say, I relinquished control in the throne of my heart to you, Jesus, every single day. It's not just I love you right when I got saved, but it's, I'm learning to love you with every fiber of my being. And the only way we'll ever achieve that is by dying to ourselves. The second law of love is found in verse 39.

And again we find the same word when Jesus says, love your neighbor as yourself. It's the word agapeo, and it means this, that we love others.

Which includes strangers. It includes strange people, it includes family members who can also be strange people.

It includes co workers, it includes people that rub you the wrong way. It includes people that you don't like. And what Jesus is saying is, if you're dying to yourself, you're going to learn to love your neighbor as yourself. Here's what's interesting. That little word as two letter word as love your neighbor as yourself.

It translates like this. Love your neighbor even as you love yourself. Here's another translation. Love your neighbor how you love yourself. So Jesus is saying, if you're dying to yourself, you're gonna love those family members that you really don't like.

You're gonna love those co workers, you're gonna love the strangers and the strange people in the way that God prefers. And you're gonna do it in the same way that you love yourself. Now here's the important question. Love your neighbor as yourself. Who's our neighbor?

Will a man ask Jesus that same question? Luke, chapter 10.

He says, Jesus, who's my neighbor? And Jesus answers the question by telling a story. It's a story we've all heard. It's called a parable. A parable is just simply this.

It's a fictitious story laid alongside of a doctrinal truth. And Jesus starts telling the story of a Jewish man who was in great need. He was on this road from Jerusalem to Jericho. It was a very steep road, it was called the Trail of Blood because so many people were beaten up on this road. Robbers that would hide in the caves along the road and they would jump out and beat people and rob them, kill them sometimes.

And in the story Jesus says, there's this Jewish man, he's on his way from Jerusalem to Jericho, and these bandits jump out, they rob him and they leave him for dead. And in the stories Jesus is telling it, he says, these people from church come along and they see the man who's just in great need. But they figured they were too busy and they didn't really have time to care for him, so they just kept walking. Then in the story, Jesus says, this guy from the temple, he's a leader, he's like a pastor. He comes along, he sees a guy and he crosses to the other side of the road and says, I don't have time.

And then the story takes this interesting twist when Jesus says, then a Samaritan comes along and it creates this gasp among this predominantly Jewish audience, because all of them, all of them new Jews and Samaritans, we don't hang out, we don't talk to each other, we don't mix together. How dare you, Jesus, ride a Samaritan into this story? And Jesus, as the Samaritan stops, remember, now he's answering the question, who's my neighbor? Remember, Jesus is talking about loving our neighbor as in the same way, even as how we love ourselves. He says, a Samaritan bandages the guy's wounds, puts him on his donkey, takes him to a hotel, pays the bill in advance for the hotel room, the food bill, all of that.

And then here's where it gets so interesting. Verse 36. Jesus says, now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits? And the man replied, the one who showed him mercy. And then Jesus said, yes, now go and do the same.

That word, mercy, I love this. In the original language, here's how it translates. Active compassion. Active compassion. Who's our neighbor?

When Jesus says the second law of love that we're supposed to demonstrate and obey, who's our neighbor? The one who's in need. And Jesus demonstrates for us that we're to show active compassion to those we don't like, to those who are different than we are, to those who are in great need. And Jesus says, if you're able to do that, it's a clear indication that you're dying to yourself.

Now, the second part of death to self, under the four that are indicators. And we'll talk about the others in the weeks to come. But the second part of that is that we build relationships with sinners and unbelievers. We build relationships. Missio DEI is a doctrine that comes from a Latin term that means mission of God.

Essentially, the idea of being missional, maybe you've heard that term before. Missional churches, missional believers. What's it mean to live missionally? And the idea of this doctrine of being missional teaches that the church has a mission because Jesus had a mission. There's one mission which says that the missional church is a community of God's people that defines itself and organizes its life around its real purpose of being an agent of God's mission to a lost and dying world.

That's it. Bottom line. Now listen. By his very nature, listen to me. Are you guys still with me?

By his very nature, God is ascending. God, that word church. In the original language, ekklesia means sent ones. God is ascending. God, who takes the initiative to redeem his creation.

That's why we're here. And because the church is comprised of the sent people of God. Guess what? You and I then become instruments in the hands of God to fulfill the mission of God in the world. I love this.

Some Christians frequently say the church has a mission. And yes, that's true. But a better statement might be this. The mission has a church. Oh, I love that the mission has a church.

Jesus says this in Matthew, chapter 5 and verse 13. He says, you are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its salty taste, it cannot be made salty again. It's good for nothing except to be thrown out and walked on. He says this, you're the light that gives light to the world.

A city that is built on a hill cannot be hidden. And people don't hide a light under a bowl. They put it on a lamp stand so the light shines for all the people in the house. In the same. Jesus says, you should be a light for other people.

Live so that they will see the good things that you do and will praise your Father in heaven.

So let me give you. As we close, let me give you just five, five things of how living missionally should look. They're in your notes. We're going to go through them quickly and then we're going to close. Watch this.

Number one, we build bridges, not walls.

Listen, bridges, not walls. Walls divide and separate, but bridges connect. And when it comes to living missionally, we need to focus on ways that we can build connection with the lost, build connection with unbelievers, build connection with sinners. I think one of the mistakes that the American church has made is that so often we want to insulate and isolate ourselves within the safety of the bubble of the church because we don't want to be contaminated by the outside world.

But guess what? Jesus hung out with sinners.

Jesus ate in the home of what the Bible calls irreputable people.

Jesus was seen hanging out with prostitutes. Jesus allowed an immoral woman to pour expensive perfume over his feet and to anoint him. And I believe that The Church of 2025, the capital C church, is called to be missional and to build bridges with the lost and not walls. Here's the second thing. We build community.

Here's the key. Without compromise. We build community without compromise. I think some people have taken the scripture that Paul says out of context. When Paul says, I've become all things to all men so that some might know the gospel.

And I think Some people have taken that out of context and said, well, you know what? In order for me to build bridges with them, I'm going to hang out with them. I'm going to do what they do, so I'm going to party with them so I can build a relationship. Are you kidding me? Don't be stupid.

No, we build community with people without compromise. Jesus hung out with sinners, but never one time did he compromise his standard of righteousness or his lifestyle.

Number three, we speak the truth with love. According to Ephesians 4:15, we speak the truth. Not some watered down version of the truth. Not some compromised version of the truth. We speak the truth.

Listen to me. Some people that you rub shoulders with are never going to pick up a Bible and read it. That's why Peter says we're living epistles known and read by all men. Do you understand that? People are going to.

They're going to base their understanding of Jesus on how you live.

So we need to demonstrate to them how active compassion and a part of that is that we speak the truth. Here's the key in love. Listen. You can be truthful with people and some people are afraid. I don't want to offend them, so I just don't say anything at all.

I don't think that's the right approach. But I also realize that when you're speaking the truth to people, you don't have to be a jerk.

You can speak the truth in love. Here's the fourth thing. We show active compassion whenever possible. Active compassion whenever possible. Here's the fifth thing.

We pray for unbelievers.

As a matter of fact, I want to challenge you that this week you just take a sticky note or in your journal, in your Bible, wherever it might be. I want you to write down at least one name of an unbeliever that you need to start praying for. It could be a family member, could be a co worker, could be somebody you just met, could be the coach of your child's pee wee flag football team. Whatever it is, just write their name down. Could be more than one, maybe two, maybe three.

And I want you to start praying for them. I want you to pray that God will help you to build some bridges with them, that God will show you creative ways that you can build community without compromise with them. And that when the opportunity presents itself, you'll speak the truth to them with great love. Let me tell you a story. And then we're going to pray.

Some of you have heard this story before, happened years ago with Melanie And I, we had some neighbors, we were living in a subdivision, and God had burdened our heart for the couple that lived two doors down. We're living in this subdivision and around us there's a lot of building taking place. And the result of that was that animals, they were living in these woods that were now cleared and, and becoming another subdivision. They're looking for places to go. And the crazy thing about that, we had a cocker spaniel at the time, and our cocker spaniel in our front yard in a subdivision six months apart took a direct hit from a skunk twice in a subdivision.

Crazy, crazy thing. Now this couple that lived two doors down, they were already successful. They lived at the end of the cul de sac. And we could tell they liked to party on the weekends. There would be cars filling the cul de sac.

They would have these parties. And we just felt a burden for them. And so we were trying to find ways we could connect with them. And so we'd, you know, always wave or, you know, try to say hey to them or whatever. And if there was an opportunity, I might approach him and talk about yard work or sports or whatever.

I'm just trying to find some commonality there. And man, it was tough. Like, this guy was a blue collar worker and every time I would talk to him, it was like just talking to a concrete wall, just never getting anywhere. Just felt like there was no relationship whatsoever.

We prayed for three years, God, give us a chance. I'll never forget the day. And I could take you to the exact spot right now, I'm outside doing yard work. I walk around the corner of my house. I hear the spirit of God say to me, go tell him about the skunk.

And my response in that moment as a mighty man of God was, I will not do that.

That might disappoint you, but that's exactly what I said. I will not do that. Guy already thinks I'm a weirdo. I'm not. What am I going to say?

What am I going to say about the skunk? Hey, man, skunk alert.

Like, what am I going to tell him? And so for the next 10 minutes, I am arguing with the spirit of God. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going over there. And, you know, then I think, finally I convinced myself it's the middle of the day and he's working.

He's not going to be home. So maybe I'll be safe doing this. I'll go over there. I'm walking over there. I ring the Doorbell.

And I'm praying, God, please, Lord, let him not be home, man. How spiritual is your pastor?

Maybe his wife will come to the door. That'd be better. The door opens, and there he stands. Hey, man, how you doing? Hey, listen, I just want to let you know that, man, over the past six months, our dog has taken a direct hit from a skunk right in our front yard.

Twice.

And, Bro, I know you've got a dog. And so, man, I just wanted to tell you, be on the lookout for skunks.

Wow. Gosh, man, I am standing there. I'm feeling like the biggest fool on the planet. You know, sometimes when you're in an awkward situation, people will kind of help you out, right? Like, they'll nod or smile like, hey, yeah, yeah, I hear you.

You know, like, I'm getting what you're saying. He is stone to face. Nothing, which just makes you feel more foolish. I'm just dying. I'm dying.

Like, I just want to crawl under the welcome mat that's at his front door. It's true story. And all of a sudden, he says this.

Hey, man, I appreciate it. We hadn't been here for a week. My wife's in the hospital. Young couple, no kids. She was pregnant.

We knew that. He said, she's had major complications with the pregnancy, so she's been admitted to the hospital. I'm like, oh, man. Hey, we'll be praying for you. Let us know if you need anything.

He closes the door. I make a beeline into my house, and I say to Melanie, melanie, make some food right now. She makes up some food. And that woman can cook. I'm gonna tell you.

And we go back over to their front door and said, hey, man, listen. Don't know if you're gonna get to be home at all. We just wanted to make. Make some food for you. And I recognized in that moment, after three years of praying, God was building a bridge to an unbeliever.

I went to the hospital. I'll never forget this either. I went to the hospital a few days later, Just found out what room she was in. Wanted to go pray for her and to pray for the baby. And I'm standing beside her bed, praying over her, praying over that child.

I said, amen. I hear a noise behind me. I turn around, and I see that he has walked into the room as I was praying. And I walk over to greet him, and a big tear is going down his cheek. Hard.

Blue collar guy, he says, man, thank you for coming. The baby was born premature, but the Hand of the Lord was on that child. And when they came home, we were there to meet them with gifts for them, just continuing to just build a bridge with them. And I'll never forget one day, as I'm standing at his door, we took more food or whatever, and he said, man, thank you for all that you guys have done. I said, man, we're so glad that we could help you out.

We're so glad that we could, you know, help take care of you guys during this time. And he said this. I'm gonna come to your church one day. I hadn't said anything about church, but he said, I'm gonna come to your church one day. And you know what?

Wasn't long after that, they showed up. They both got saved. And then I'm out mowing my grass one day, and he walks over. He walks over to me. That had never happened.

He walks over to me and he says, hey, man, sorry to interrupt you. I've noticed at church that you guys do this thing where people have their new babies and y' all christen them or kind of pray over them. He said, we'd like to have that done with our little girl. And a few weeks later, I got the joy of dedicating their baby. And as far as I know, they're still living for Jesus to this day.

Why?

Here's the important thing. When we die to ourselves, we learn to obey the voice of the Holy Spirit even when it doesn't make sense. When we die to ourselves, we learn to demonstrate active compassion in a way that causes somebody to understand who Jesus really is. I believe God's calling us deeper. I had somebody that came to me after the first service and said, you know, I've been in a disagreement with somebody that we're close to for several weeks now.

And your message last week about valuing the relationship over being right, he said, so I started this week by going to them and saying, hey, whoever's right in this, I just want relationship. It takes dying to ourself. It takes swallowing our pride. It takes giving up our rights. But I'm telling you, if you'll allow God to take you deeper, you're gonna be amazed at what he can do through your life.

Come on, let's pray, Father. It's amazing when we journey with you and when we practice long obedience in the same direction. And I'm praying over this house. We would be a people who respond to deep calling to deep and saying, yes, Lord, take us deeper. We don't want to stay ankle deep for the rest of our lives.

Take us deeper, God, in the things of you. And I'm just praying, God, it would be something that would happen now in this church like never before. Like we've never experienced before. You would take us into the deeper things, the deeper realities. A year from now, we won't look like we do today.

Sin cycles will be broken. And we'll allow you, God, to expand our capacity to both love you with all of our heart and to love others in the same way that we love ourselves.